Today is my birthday! How cool is that?!? Today, I turn 62! Ok, not so cool, but honestly, I feel pretty good about that too! My dad died of cancer at 60, so I’ve always had a hard time imagining my life after 60, and to be honest it has been fantastic. My dad was able to be a grampa for a bit, but he truly does not realize how much joy he missed out on. Being a grandpa is the best and I wish may dad had been able to enjoy so much more of that. !
Another big gift for both Cyndy and I has been the visit by our son, Wes, this month. To have Wes here for Mother’s Day and for my birthday has helped me remember the power of presence. Just having him around and watching how much he has matured and grown in the last couple of years has been a true blessing. Wes and I are moving to a different stage in our relationship…a stage that my dad and I never were able to experience. I’m so grateful that I get this chance!
But yesterday I was gifted with a gift that I don’t think most of us see as a gift very often. My District Superintendent (the UM’s version of ‘the boss’) met with me yesterday for lunch. Actually, I had asked him for lunch because I had some ideas and a book I wanted him to read with me. After our chat, Mark shared that he had an “ask” of me. As he asked this I watched as his eyes met mine. Asking is an interesting encounter isn’t it. So much is going on. Some people, when asked, are immediately defensive. The stiff arm is up almost before you get any words out! Words come out of their mouth like, “my plate is way too full!” And look, I’ve been there. But as Mark was reading my non-verbal communication and I his, I realized what a gift being asked is! I found myself, instead of being defensive, feeling a wave of gratitude for being noticed! I felt that my gifts were being recognized! I felt blessed to have something to give! I was smiling from ear to ear, and so was Mark! It’s fun to get a yes from an ask, too! In a way, saying yes is a way to affirm the one who is asking!
After the meeting, I felt like a little kid who had just been picked first by the captain of the pick-up football game during recess. I was so excited I called Cyndy and told her!
Why do we always see “asking” as a burden? In so many ways, it can be a real blessing for the one we ask.
One of my favorite morning activities in the spring and summer is watering my garden. By the way, my strawberries this year are bursting with berries! Maybe this year I can beat my granddaughter, Emerson, to the punch and actually get one to eat! She loves those things! Anyway, what I love about watering that garden, is that it reminds me so much about ministry and parenting and mentoring and teaching. Plants don’t grow because we push and pull, they grow because we nurture them. They grow because we pay attention to the ground around those tender roots! They grow because we water them!
This morning, as I was watering my plants, I was thinking of all the wonderful ways I’ve been nurtured and watered in my life. I was thinking of the many ways I was asked and invited to be a part of something greater than the little me I was. And what those asks and invites did for my heart and soul!
After my 3rd grade year, my dad was asked to move to the town of Wagner. I wasn’t very excited about it. I had wonderful friends in White Lake. I had a lot to lose in my father’s willingness to go wherever he was sent! And the biggest loss was friendships! That first summer in Wagner was more than a little lonely. And as the first day of school came upon me, I found myself both nervous and excited. Maybe, just maybe, I would make a friend. But, what if I didn’t!?! You know how that roller coaster is! The toughest part of those first days wasn’t the classroom. The toughest part of those days for new kids is recess! That’s where all the sorting happens.
In Wagner, the recess was all about football for the boys. In the morning you picked sides, and then at noon and in the afternoon, it was all about playing. Standing there in that “pick me” line was humiliating for most. Especially if you were new and small, like me. I stood there trying to look tall and tough, but my body must not have been giving out that vibe, because when all was said and done, I was the second to last kid picked. With just two of us left, Kurt (I will never forget his name), one of the captains that year (they were always captains it seems) turned to us and looked us both over and said, “I’ll take the new kid!” I tried to act cool as I headed to his side of the field, there was no way I was going to smile. That was against the code. But inside I was Snoopy about ready to dig into his dog dish!
During noon recess, I went out for a pass(actually we all went out for a pass. (That’s how it works in “recess ball”.) And I was standing in the endzone all alone. It was like no one even knew I was there. I waved my hand. I jumped up and down. I yelled, “Kurt! Hey Kurt! I’m open! I’m open!” I did that for 7 straight plays! And never once did Kurt see me. But then, on the eighth play, just as the bell for recess rang, Kurt finally saw me, and he heaved the ball my way! Seriously, I thought the ball would never get there. The whole time it was in the air I kept whispering, “Don’t you dare drop it!” “Please, God don’t let me drop it!” And then, what do you know….I caught it!
And the crowd went wild! Well, actually, no. Everybody was already headed into class. But as we settled in for Science with Mrs. Krell, Kurt looked over at me and gave me a thumbs up! I was in!
That’s kind of the way I felt when Mark asked me to help lead.
This week, take some time to give thanks for those who’ve nurtured you with an ask or an invite.
Your friend and pastor, thankful for invites and asks, Brook