How do we keep loving the world in such an unloving time?
What I find to be important in these times is to develop a ritual of self-care. So today, I’m just sharing practical stuff. I hope it helps!
For me, my self-care means walking. I’ve shared this before, but putting in my 10,000 steps is crucial for me. I think the hardest walking time for me is my evening walk. It is so hard getting me out of my chair and out into the dark. But once I get my coat on and am out the door...it is my most productive time! It’s a time for me to clear the air and let go of the day, so I can embrace another. It’s a time to mull over sermons and make them better. It’s a time to pray for my family. It’s a time to get into rhythm with God’s creation again. Last night, as I was walking, I heard an owl hooting (I think it was a Great Horned Owl), and before I knew it, I was trying to hoot back to her. My heart was racing as I waited for a response. And sure enough...it happened! What joy!
The second practice I’ve learned to do I learned from a book written by a woman who calls herself “the Fly Lady”! It’s a book called “Sink Reflections: Flylady's Babystep Guide to Overcoming Chaos” by Cilley, Marla. I picked it up in the airport of all things. Cyndy and I, in our younger years, were overwhelmed with taking care of 4 kids and keeping up the house. This book saved our marriage! And one of the things we learned from this book was the practice of blessing tomorrow. The idea was to do one thing at the end of the day that would help your “tomorrow-self” have a better day. It was putting the dishes in the dishwasher, so you didn’t have to do it in the morning. Or laying out your Sunday clothes on Saturday night so you didn’t ask Cyndy if they matched in the morning (I’m color blind), or taking some time to write a note to Cyndy telling her you loved her, so she could read it after you went to work. Whatever it was, it made your tomorrow better. It was a gift to your tomorrow! Folks, blessing your tomorrow is a game-changer! Try it.
And finally, my third practice comes from the Sufi religion. The more I read books like “Original Blessing” by Danielle Shroyer (a must read) the more connected I have become to this understanding of the Muslim faith. For the Sufi follower, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself you have built against it.” We get so many negative images of ourselves in the media. In order to sell things, we are sent thousands of messages a day telling us that we are incomplete and in need of something. Just so we will buy a particular product. Dr. Omid Safi puts it this way, “So many of us are filled with a kind of dread, even hatred, for ourselves. Sometimes, for many of us that are racial minorities, we are taught to literally hate the color of our own skin. Some of us are taught to hate the shape of our bodies. Can we learn to look with love at our own self?” This is the very same point Shroyer is trying to make in Original Blessing. We need to find ways to love ourselves and remember that we are loved by God.
One practice that has helped me is the Sufi practice of love pats. Basically you take your right hand and tap it 3 or 4 times just below your collar bone as you encourage yourself. They suggest you use a loving nickname for yourself and then just encourage yourself with a little phrase. When I was a kid, I had a great baseball coach that called me “Brooker T.” And for a little while it stuck. Partly because I struggled with my “girlie” name...Brook, I have always secretly loved that name. So, my love pat goes something like this, “Calm down, Brooker T., you can do this!” or “Hang in there, Brooker T., there is always tomorrow!” Or “Way to go, Brooker T., that’s a good sermon!” I’ve also used this practice with scripture...tapping a short bit of the 23rd Psalm into my heart.
I find this practice really keeps me on the positive side of life! And during these conflicting times, I need that!
I’d like to end with just a few lines of poetry from the Sufi poet, Rumi:
· Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.
· Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
· Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.
· Only from the heart can you touch the sky.
· The wound is the place where the Light enters you.
· Not only the thirsty seek the water, the water as well seeks the thirsty.
Your friend and pastor, learning that these 3 simple practices keep me going, Brook
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