Last week Cyndy and I met Sam and Iris in New Orleans for some R and R. We had a great time taking in the unique culture of New Orleans. Of course, we took a trip down Bourbon Street, but if you really want to know where all the locals hang out, you need to visit Frenchmen Street…more jazz, less crazy partying! And of course, all over New Orleans, there is some of the best food in the world! Shrimp and grits, softshell crab, beignets, jambalaya, gumbo…you name it…we tried it! And we’ve got the 10 pounds to show it!
But as wonderful as all of that was, I think the greatest part of our stay was our concierge at the small hotel we stayed at in the Garden District. His name was Brian, and he was a pure treat to be around. Not only did he serve us drinks every night, but his greatest gift was the way he weaved story after story into our hearts and made us laugh!
One of the stories Brian told us was a story about his grandfather, Rainey. His grandfather ran the local hardware store, and thereby played a central place in this little town. But in essence his real role was one of peacekeeper. People with disagreements and struggles would come to Grandpa Rainey and share with them just what was going on, and Brian, then 7 or 8, would listen as Grandpa Rainey listened intently and then would weave together a long story that would include two things: laughter and a long wise tale that in some indirect way would show these two enemies how to be friends again. “They came into the store mad as a hatter and ready to strangle each other. They left the store, friends.”
As I thought about this story, I couldn’t help but think of the book I’ve been reading and re-reading this month: “Us” by Terrance Real. In this book he shares that many of us, when we’ve “blown” our fuse, resort back to the primitive part of our brain. And when we do that, we really have no way of working out a dispute. Listen to this quote from the book:
“When we get trauma-triggered in our close relationships, our Wise Adult shuts off, and we are seized by our Adaptive Child. We feel ‘taken over’ and we want to push back.” When this happens we need to take a break, throw some water on your face, take cleansing breaths with long exhalations, go for a walk. But don’t try to grapple with relational issues from your Adaptive Child. Get yourself reseated in your Wise Adult before attempting repair.”
In essence, what we do when we go to counseling is that we actually borrow someone else’s “Wise Adult” brain until we can move out of our Adaptive Child mode and back into Wisdom Adult mode.
As I heard this story, I couldn’t help but think that this was exactly what Grandpa Rainey was doing. By using his gifts of storytelling and humor he moved his community back into their wise adult selves!
Jesus, in his Sermon on the Mount, calls each of us to try to be peacemakers in this world. Most of us, when we think of peacemaking, think big picture. We think of the UN or the Secretary of State. But, in truth, much of the peacemaking that goes on in our world happens at the drug store, or on the road, or in our workplaces, or in our homes.
Take some time this morning to ponder just where some of the potential “healing places” are in your community. Could it be that your calm non-anxious presence, your story, and your sense of humor, could bring people together again? In this world where there is too much me vs you…we all could use a move towards “us”. Don’t you think?
Take some time to write a note to a peacemaker in your life.
As for me, I left my thank you with Brian, the manager of the Henry Howard Hotel, along with a generous trip! His laughter, story, and wisdom helped heal my weary soul!
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Your friend and pastor, calling us all towards making peace, Brook