In a novel I’m reading, “Peace Like a River” by Leif Enger, one of the characters, the dad, says that no matter what stage in life we are in, we are always at war. The difference in not whether we are at war, the difference is what weapons we are using. This character chooses to use the weapon of non-violence. In a battle with two thugs in his small town, he chooses not to raise the ante. He chooses to turn the other cheek.
I’m not sure I like the image of always being at war, always having an advisory. The child in me wants to say that’s not true. I want to live in a world where “the wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them.” And when that doesn’t come to bear, I whine and complain. I scream at God and wonder where God is.
But maybe I’d be better thinking of the world like this character in this book. Maybe there always is an “opponent” in my journey…an “antagonist”. Sometimes that opponent is simply to survive the outer elements. Or the “none” culture. Sometimes the opponent is my own “self” that “ego-centered” part of me that always wants to be on top. Sometimes the opponent is a personal addiction like drugs, or alcohol, or porn. Or a societal addiction like racism, or poverty, or homophobia.
For much of my life as a pastor I think the battle has been to remain relevant. To matter in this world. To preach and teach in a way that people see their faith as an integral and relevant part of the way they see the world. Let’s face it, to many in this world “the church” has lost its relevance. For many in this world “God” is an ancient relic only used now as to enhance their political position paper. But for me, my faith matters. It informs every aspect of my life. It keeps me grounded. And so, my battle is to somehow convey that to others and help them find a faith that does the same.
Another battle I find myself in lately is one of age. It’s amazing how getting “older” has become a dirty word in our society. I find myself judged by a greying beard. I’ll be honest, it’s hard for me to stay current sometimes. If I just hang in my circles, which unfortunately are people right around my age, I get one dimensional and to be honest I find my mind narrowing. I must constantly fight that by reading current books and watching new TV shows and movies. And, most importantly, learning to develop relationships with younger folks and people of color. If I were honest, I would have to admit that I prefer to hang out with “my bunch”, but just hanging out with “my bunch” doesn’t help me grow, so I must push myself to get “in the mix”, less I fall to the ground as irrelevant to this world.
Last night, Cyndy and I played host to our office manager, Janelle Ramirez and to Dr. Simon Hill and his mom and dad. You may remember Dr. Simon Hill. He was our music director here at Bear Creek UMC for 3 years while he studied at UW for his Doctorate in Vocal Music. Simon moved back to Kansas a couple of years ago and he was back in Seattle to defend his Dissertation. And when he was done defending, the professors on his board greeted him as Dr. Simon Hill! How cool is that! Simon shared that one of the best parts of the experience was having his parents there listening to him. I asked his dad what that was like, and he said, “actually as he began to talk, I finally started piecing it all together. I actually started understanding not only what he wants to do, but who he is. He’s so passionate about choral music. It was a proud, proud moment for both of us!” You will all be happy to know that Dr. Simon Hill is not going to be a choral professor at Southwestern College in Winfield, Kansas this Fall!
Proud moment indeed! These past 3 months I have had the absolute privilege to have my oldest son staying with us. If you know my son, Ben, you know that he is not only brilliant, but also very diverse in his understanding of the world. He’s lived in New York, Bangkok, Seoul, and Sau Paulo. He kind of dabbles in Portuguese and Korean. And the dude knows more books, podcasts, movies, and TV shows than I could ever imagine. These last 3 months Ben has done everything he can to keep me relevant. To challenge my perspectives. To help me see in a different way. And of all things, he’s got me into playing disc golf!! Last Saturday we went out to “Tall Firs” and played 18 holes and to be honest, I didn’t embarrass myself. And it was fun to be around so many people who didn’t look like me!! Cyndy and I have been so blessed to have Ben around and by having him around we have expanded our thinking and even started watching Japanese Anime! “No way!” (You have to watch "Spirited Away"!
Ben is going to head back to South Korea where his girlfriend of 11 years is waiting for him, and my guess is that in a year or two they will find themselves in Portugal for a while! And guess what, this time Cyndy and I are going to get to visit them there!
Thank you, Ben, Simon, Janelle, and Bear Creek UMC for helping me in my battle to stay relevant. In the battle I rage against a mind that sometimes wants to narrow instead of expanding. A mind that leans towards who I’m comfortable instead of learning to embrace folks who are different than I am. You have been the stirring stick of Christ, stirring the waters and challenging me to grow!
Your pastor and friend, heading out to the back yard to throw discs, Brook