Learning to Survive and Thrive by Renaming Yourself!

Are You a Good Name Caller?

Are you a good name caller? I hope so! Let me explain!

When I was in 4th grade there was a bully who got a hold of my name. Looking back at it, I was ripe for the picking. I had just moved to town...so that was strike number one. I was about 4’2” and weighed maybe 50 pounds...so that was strike two. And then the final strike: the actress Brooke Sheilds had just come out in her hit movie “The Blue Lagoon” and so of course this name caller latched on to that name and gave it a girlie twist every time he saw me! And, sure enough, the new twist to my name caught on! I was out! I argued that Brooke Sheild’s name ended with an “e” and mine did not. But that only made matters worse. Every time my name came up in print, that bully or one of his lackeys added the letter “e” to it. Before I knew it the whole class was calling me “Brookeeeee!”  Let me tell you, they used that “e” so much it actually wore my soul down to tiny sliver of soap!  

One day I came home with tears in my eyes...and believe you me, that didn’t help the situation either. My mother, seeing me in tears and trying to be helpful, put her arms around me and said: “Brook, remember what a wise sage once said: “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me!”  I wish my mom had read John McFarland’s wonderful book called “Now that I have Cancer, I am Whole” before she said that. Here’s what John writes about the wisdom of that saying:

       When I was little, my mother taught me a little epigram to use against the

      neighborhood bullies: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will

     never hurt me.”  It would have worked better if the bullies hadn’t used sticks and

      stones as well as words. They certainly knew how to use words, though, and

      those hurt more than the sticks and stones. It’s infuriating to be called “yellow”

     by three boys who are twice as big as you are. You know that they are the true

     cowards because they have to gang together and pic on someone smaller. As a

     child, however, you can’t even find the right words so you can tell them that. You

     just run away.         

The good news was this...I became a the fastest runner in 4th grade due to these circumstances!

That bully knew how to use names and fists...but he wasn’t a good name caller...he was just a mean one! I want you to be a good name caller. Someone who can use names to bring good into the world!

This morning, I had coffee with a good name-caller! Her name is Jen, and she has just started to be a part of our Bear Creek UMC Community. Jen was telling me that she is a new member of the “empty nest” club. Her youngest is finishing his first year of college at Central Washington. I asked Jen how that was going and she kind of made a face. “Well,” she said, “it didn’t go well at first. There was just something about that name...'empty nest'...that really brought me down. But then I had a heart to heart with myself. I mean I’m not an empty nest kind of person. Yes, my oldest now has his own apartment and my youngest is now in college. But is that a bad thing? Isn’t that the way it should be! I mean they are out on their own because I have done a great job raising them! So, I decided to change my name, just like Jesus changed Peter’s name. And I came up with a great name for my situation. I’m no longer an 'empty nester', I am a 'bird launcher!' And I’m proud of it!”

Jen is a good name caller! She used her creativity to reshape the world around her in such a way that it brought grace and goodness into that space!

One of the greatest powers God gives us in the creation stories is the power to name others. And how we name them makes an enormous difference as to how we treat them.

In many Native American stories plants and animals are named as the human's elders. They were here first. People, therefore, are called to learn from these wise ones. How would we be taking care of our environment differently, if we had that kind of naming in our hearts, instead of words like "fill the earth, and subdue it." (Genesis 1:28)

How we name others and describe our relationship to them is an enormous gift and responsibility. Please take this gift seriously and use it like any good United Methodist would: by doing no harm and doing all the good you can.

Your friend and pastor, still running but no longer away. Now I'm running towards my new God-given name: “Loved,” Brook