When I was serving a small church in East Texas while I was going to seminary, two little boys walked across the back yard to their grandma's house. They were 5 and 3. Usually mom went with them, but mom had a busy morning and the oldest insisted he knew the way. Mom hesitated but finally said yes. She could see them for all but 50 yards of the trip. And grandma knew they were coming. So off they went. The mom waited for a phone call from grandma. The grandma waited for the boys to come. They never did. Horror of horrors they took a detour, climbed not one, but two fences, and tried to swim in the neighbors backyard pool. Neither knew how to swim.
My gut still aches when I remember that story. Just like my gut hurts every time I read about shootings like the one in Nashville on Monday.
But sometimes I get downright mad when someone or a group tries to use such tragedies for their own political gain.
In the case of these two little boys it was the local Southern Baptist church.
Let me explain.
The next night there was a prayer service for the family and a shared meal. Since I was a pastor and lived nearby I decided to go thinking that this was a cool way to surround this family in grace.
Well, it wasn’t cool.
The whole time I was there the conversation wasn’t about how we could help this family, it was, instead, that this mom and dad weren’t “saved” yet. The next day at the funeral I was appalled and actually sick to my stomach while I listened to this preacher look this heart-broken mom and dad in the eye and tell them that they would never see their children in heaven unless they gave their life to Jesus right now!
I left that funeral ready to quit the ministry. I left that funeral angry at a church that could use such a tragedy to gain more members!
The next day I did a bold move and walked into Schubert Ogden’s office. Schubert Ogden was the elite scholar of theology at Perkins School of theology. He was a big deal and he was also scary! He was so smart! No one walked into his office without an appointment. But I did.
And as I approached his desk, I totally lost it. I know, I broke down and wept in front of one of the leading theologians of the 20th century? Sure did.
And after he comforted me for 5 minutes and listened to my story, I realized that he wasn’t that scary. After I shared my story, Schubert went to his desk and pulled out a single sheet of paper. He told me to read it and come back the next week at the same time. The piece of paper was a prayer written for the occasion of a young man who was killed in the Vietnam war. It was a prayer of protest. Protesting the death of this young man. At the bottom was the author: GOD!
That prayer kept me from quitting ministry. That prayer kept me wrestling with the important questions of all of our lives for the next two years! That prayer helped me fall in love again with God. Not the God that controls it all, but the God who cares for us all. Who cares enough for us and our children, the he, she, or they will dare to protest anyone's death when it comes too soon and from violence.
This week I haven’t stopped working and walking. In large part due to the fact that when I do my gut aches and I feel like I’m going to throw up.
I’m so angry that so many innocent lives are taken by our insistence that we can’t have gun control in this country.
I stand with God on this one. This must stop!
Your friend and pastor, standing at the grave of every child who has died of violence...and weeping tears of protest with my God, Brook
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