One of the toughest moments of my vocational life happened in my first year of full-time ministry. Right in the middle of Holy Week, Cyndy’s mother, just 65, unexpectedly passed away, and as the family gathered they asked me to “lead” the service! I’ll never forget the series of "emotional bombs" that came to me in and after that request. The first, was a set of feelings centering on honor and gratitude. I loved Jocelyn (Cyndy’s mom)and felt privileged to be asked to lead a celebration of her life! But, right under those feelings came a second group of feelings centered around doubt, fear, and panic. I wasn’t sure I was or had enough to do this in a way that would give respect to her!
The day of the funeral, we travelled to Avon, SD (Cyndy’s hometown) and as we pulled up to the church I noticed all the cars! "Oh, boy!" I thought. "This is really happening, isn't it!" And before I knew it I was standing in the pulpit looking out at a sea of people, all of them looking towards me for comfort and wisdom. I suddenly felt a little like Reese Witherspoon in the movie “Wild” when she watched her only pair of hiking boots tumble down a mountain! I felt so alone! https://youtu.be/2x3hvEO7dyg
But then my gaze caught a glimpse of a group of folks in the back of the room. Several of them wearing cowboy hats! 12 members of my church! They hardly knew their new pastor, but there they all were…showing up for Cyndy and I. And just in front of them sat my D.S. Hank Kor and my mentor, Rick Pittenger. They had travelled 2 hours just to be with me!
Suddenly the weight of all that I carried was lifted and I knew God, dwelling in the midst of these people, was truly by my side. I was not alone! Their presence had changed the way I viewed this entire scene!
That day I learned something that science now is clear on: Simply being present changes reality! Our emotional and spiritual "carbon imprint" makes a difference!
This week I led my normal Tuesday morning book study. We’ve been meeting for over seven years now. We are very comfortable with each other. Some might even say too comfortable? And by that I mean that at times, I think it is fair to say, we take each other’s presence for granted sometimes? But this week something happened to us: someone else showed up! One of our faithful members brought their spouse! And her spouse, someone I so respect and admire, is Jewish. And our topic for the day, you ask? Get this! This is so good! “The divinity of Christ!” Can you believe it? Talk about a little awkward!
But as we discussed and dialogued I was struck at just how honest we all were! And at just how enriched our conversation had become! The presence of someone “outside” our “insiders only" group brought us to a totally different place! We were changed by this wonderful man’s presence!
Again, our spiritual and emotion carbon imprint changed the outcome of an event!
The good news in all of this? Sometimes we get so concerned about what we need to say. Sometimes we get so concerned about whether we’re "enough" in a certain situation. But the truth is that if we simply choose to show up, we have already altered the outcome! The truth is that we are not powerless at all if we learn to show up for what truly matters!
Dear God, teach us the art of being present. Help us to use the gift of our spiritual and emotional carbon imprint to affect positive change in our world
Your friend and pastor, determined to show up more often, Brook
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