What to do when "THE BIG DUMPER" Takes up Residence in your Bedroom!

Cal Raleigh, AKA "The Big Dumper" of the Seattle Mariners hitting number 59!

Well folks, what can I say? This September has been a difficult month for me. Why? Well, I hate to say it, but it is because my marriage has taken a turn for the worse. You see, my partner, Cyndy, is in love with a man who is now known all over the world by his incredible looking backside! That’s right, Cyndy is in love with a man whose nickname is “the Big Dumper!” I mean she has fallen hard for this guy. She’s got not one collectors bobblehead, but two! One on her desk at work, and the other on her dresser (in our bedroom?...are you kidding me!) where she can look at him and his superb “donkadonk” every morning when she wakes up and every night right before she goes to bed. She’s got her eyes on every piece of apparel out there with the number 29 on it. And every evening from 6:40-9:30 she is glued to the television, or whatever baseball app she can find, just to see if “Cal” can pass “The Babe” or Roger Maris, or Aaron Judge for the most home runs in an American League season! Why last night, in the middle of me telling her about this week’s sermon, (usually the highlight of her week, I might add!) Cyndy actually hushed me... (complete with a finger up to her lips) ...as she said, “Hold that thought...Cal’s about to bat!” And when he hits one...oh my o my...she looks like she has just won a ticket to heaven. I’m telling you Cyndy is so far into this thing that she actually sent $20 into the internet “witch” to put a blessing on “The Big Dumper”!!! 

I mean it is getting rough in the McBride household. Let’s just say that after 46 years of wedded bliss, the honeymoon is officially over!

And you know what’s the worst part of this fling she’s having? I’m just as in love with Cal as she is. I mean who isn’t in love with this guy? Despite having the biggest “donkadonk” in the major leagues, our Seattle Mariner catcher won the home run derby this year, leads the majors in home runs, and his WAR (wins above replacement) numbers are incredible. And to top it all off...he might win the American League MVP this year! (Let me rephrase that: If he doesn’t win it, this league is run and rigged via the NY Yankees!)

But the best part of Cal Raleigh has nothing to do with these numbers...what matters to Cyndy anyway is that he’s doing it all as a catcher! You see my Cyndy, was a catcher for the girls’ softball team of the Avon Pirates for years. She grew up playing catcher and she knows all that goes into being a great catcher. Sitting and watching a Mariners game with Cyndy is like sitting and watching a game with the Cincinnati Reds Hall of Famer, Johnny Bench! She knows catching, and what she loves about Cal is everything she loves about a good catcher. A good catcher is like a second coach out there. He or she or they know how to calm a pitcher down, how to soothe the ego of the best hitter who just stuck out, and so much more. And what she loves about Cal is his humble, quiet strength. “Did you see that, Brook,” she turns to me after one of Cal’s post-game interviews, “He started out talking about the team first. He’s always lifting everyone up before he ever talks about himself. That guy knows how to lead! “You know what Cal leads with? He is leading with “deliberate calm”! That’s exactly what Jacqueline Brassy is talking about in her book! It is so awesome!”

Well, I haven’t read

Jacqueline Brassy’s book, but I think what Cyndy calls “deliberate calm” is much like what we call in the Christian leadership circle as leading with a “non-anxious presence.”  This term came from the work of Murray Bowen, a family systems theorist who believed that many of the primary causes of problems within our families are caused by the existence and spread of anxiety. In Bowen’s view, anxiety is contagious and transmitted through relationships within the family. This means the emotional state of one person can significantly influence the emotional states of others within the family.

According to Bowen, this news is good and bad. It means that one person’s extreme anxiety has the potential to wreak havoc in a family! But it also means that one person’s “non-anxious presence” or “deliberate calm” has the potential to steady the ship!

Cal Raleigh is exactly that. He has steadied the ship! Take a minute, if you will, and study how Cal operates. And if you don’t have that kind of time, watch good catchers like Cyndy operate in her career and family. Their calm, deliberate presence changes the ethos of the whole family system in which they live. I know...because I feel the power of that calm deliberate presence every day!

Take it from someone who now has 2 catchers in his household...what this world needs now more than anything are more calm deliberate catchers like Cyndy and Cal.

Your pastor and friend, moving over to leave space for the big dumper...I’m afraid he’s here to stay... Brook

PS: And if you want think growing a mustache will win Cyndy back...no luck...I already had one!